Hold Onto My Heart
by spoodle monkey
Summary: He can feel the wet floor beneath him and see the despair written across Eli's face and Destiny's chill is beginning to seep into him. YoungRush est. Vague mention of season 2


Disclaimer: Nope, don't own.

A/N- So I realized that most of Young/Rush fics have lots of angst. And while I love angst, I figured these guys needed some fluff too. Unfortunately (or fortunately) the fluff turned into fluff with hurt/comfort and molded itself into this fic...soooooo...I'm blaming this on my head cold I guess...enjoy! Here's hoping they're not too OOC...

Spoilers for Chloe in season 2...but like, super vague.

* * *

The mess is busy, loud with the early morning rush of civilians and soldiers either starting or just finishing their shifts. He uses the term _early morning_ loosely, seeing as in space there is no sunrise or sun set; it's one of the things he misses most about Earth.

"The sensors need to be checked today." Eli mutters around a spoonful of the grey _mush_ they call breakfast and lunch and sometimes dinner.

Rush thinks about how busy the labs and consoles are bound to be and thinks to himself that getting away for a few hours, to explore _Destiny_, would be a pleasant break.

"I might as well do it." He offers and pushes his own half eaten bowl away from him. He just doesn't have the stomach for it this morning. "Mr. Brody somehow always manages to get lost doing simple tasks."

"Alone?" Scott frowns at him, ever the Boy Scout and Rush gives in to temptation and rolls his eyes.

"I'll go with you." Young meets his gaze across the table, eyes dark and filled with promises and Rush thinks _oh,_ they wouldn't be getting too much work done then.

Eli snorts next to them and Scott just looks confused so perhaps they weren't being as subtle as they could (should) have been.

"If you insist Colonel."

Young quirks his lips into a smile and his foot bumps Rush's under the table.

"So," Eli says loudly, giving him a strange look and Rush realizes with surprise that a smile has managed to make its way onto his face without him noticing. "I was talking to Brody and I think we came up with a way to rig the hydroponics lab…Chloe?" Eli interrupts himself, staring over Scott's shoulder with wide eyes.

Rush follows his gaze and has a moment to wonder where her guards are when Chloe walks the rest of the way into the mess, face disturbingly blank and raises the 9mm clutched in her hand.

He can see the flash but hears nothing above the roaring in his ears. It's like time slows down as Scott and Young lunge out of their seats and civilians and soldiers dive under the tables looking for some measly cover.

He can feel Eli's hand on his sleeve, pulling him until they're both tumbling backwards and they hit the ground and it jars something in Rush and he cries out at the sudden pain that flashes through his chest and the world speeds up again.

Greer tackles Chloe and they slide across the room, the gun skidding off in some unknown direction.

Rush lies very still and tries to catch his breath but the pain blossoming through his chest is making it very hard to do so. He lifts a shaking hand, trying to feel the area, trying to figure out why it hurts _so much_ but then Eli is there, swatting his hands away and pressing his own hands down and Rush's breath catches in his chest and his vision swims.

"_Fuck_." He gasps, head tilted back and hands clutched into tight fists.

"It's ok. It's ok." Eli chants above him and pushes down harder and Rush isn't sure if the chant is for him or Eli.

"Eli!" He hears Scott call, listens to the slight panic in his voice and squeezes his eyes shut as a fresh wave of pain rolls through him.

"Over here! I need help!"

He bites his lip and digs his nails into his palms and _does not_ think about how heavy his limbs feel.

"Rush- Rush! Come on, open your eyes for me." Young sounds _very_ close and Rush takes a moment to wonder if this means the Chloe is alright now, or at least under guard again.

"Is that an order Colonel?" He asks, surprised at how rough his voice sounds.

"I'd make it one but I know how well you follow them." Young's face is above his when he finally manages to open his eyes and one hand comes to rest loosely in his hair and the other uncurls his hand to thread their fingers together. His eyes are dark, face pinched and lips pressed in a firm line and Rush wants nothing more than to wipe the look away as he's seen it one too many times. Part of him wonders when it became that the looks directed at him changed from anger and resentment to something much better.

"TJ's on her way." Scott informs them and then hovers, suddenly unsure of what to do as Eli tries to slow the bleeding and Young doesn't take his eyes off of him.

Rush stares back because he's never been able to back down when it comes to the Colonel.

"You'll be fine." Young murmurs and Rush wants to deny this because he can feel the wet floor beneath him and see the despair written across Eli's face and Destiny's chill is beginning to seep into him.

And isn't it just a little bit sad, he thinks, that every time he starts to feel happiness, every time he starts to feel less numb and let people in, or a _person_ in, it gets taken away from him.

Everything feels _wrong_, the cold, the heavy feel of his arms and legs and yet his head feels light.

"Stay awake for me." Young squeezes his hand and Rush thinks, just because there's this something now, doesn't mean he's going to start taking orders. Except maybe this time he wouldn't mind it. "Come on Rush- don't close your eyes, keep them open, _please_."

But he still passes out.

::

"Rush? You awake?" TJ's voice filters through the warm fog that's wrapped up around him. He opens his eyes, feeling how heavy and dry they are and wonders how long he's been unconscious.

"Hey," She says softly. The lights are dim and the room is quiet, it must be late. Or early. "You're in the infirmary."

"I can see that." He tries to say but the sarcasm gets caught in his dry throat and he coughs, the movement jarring his chest and sending little shocks of pain through him.

"Here." She holds a small cup of water to his lips and he drinks it in greedily, soothing his throat and spilling down his chin when he tries to take too much. "Easy." TJ pulls the cup away and steps back and Rush's scathing remark dies on his tongue as he catches sight of the person lying on the bed next to his (hopefully) asleep.

Young always looks so troubled, even asleep and Rush's fingers twitch with the urge to reach out and smooth away the creases.

"Colonel Young?" He asks and tries to reach out and catch TJ's arm, pull her close and demand answers.

TJ's eyes grow wide and she looks between the two beds before the soft smile from before is back and Rush relaxes minutely.

"Just sleeping. He hasn't left your side since you were shot."

Rush frowns and lets his hand fall back onto the bed. His head is swimming with what must be good pain medication but he manages to pull together his thoughts.

"And Chloe?" Because all he remembers is seeing her, so tiny, as Greer stopped her from hurting anyone else.

"She's fine. Well, as fine as she can be, she doesn't remember anything though."

"Hey." Young's voice is rough with sleep but his eyes appear wide-awake as sits up. He wonders how long he's been awake and decides it doesn't matter. "How're you feeling?"

Rush rolls his eyes and tries to push himself up but finds his body rather uncooperative.

"Like I've been heavily medicated." Not that he isn't grateful for the lack of pain; he never wants to feel anything like that again, not if he can help it.

Young just smiles faintly and Rush takes a moment to study the dark circles under the other mans eyes that have always been there but seem deeper now.

"You look like crap." Rush murmurs and lays his head back against the pillow, suddenly exhausted.

"You don't look that great either." Young shoots back but there's no heat to his words. His hands shoved in his pockets he hovers next to the bed, wanting to take that final step but apparently unable to.

So Rush sighs and shifts over, wincing and clenching his teeth as it jars his chest.

"What're you doing?" Young demands, like it isn't obvious. But Rush isn't about to come out and say it.

"Just get up here." He says instead and sinks back into the thin mattress.

There's a pause and for a long moment he thinks that Young won't take the invitation as what it is. But then the side of the bed dips and Young settles in, sitting with his back against the wall, legs stretched out and one hand buried loosely in Rush's hair.

Rush leans into the touch and the warmth of Young at his side and feels as he slowly relaxes.

"Get some sleep Rush," Young says quietly, so quietly that he can barely hear it. "I'll be here when you wake up." And somehow he knows that Young isn't going anywhere. So he lets himself sleep.


End file.
